It’s the thought that counts…If you have ever sat behind the wheel, you have probably witnessed it. It happens nearly every day, in small towns and big cities. It is a fleeting gesture, a brief flash of an outstretched palm. But even more, it is a staple of courteous driving.
You know what I’m talking about. It is the courtesy wave. To some, it may seem insignificant, but the courtesy wave can serve as an ambassador of peace in the increasingly dangerous world of driving.
As drivers become more hasty (late to work), distracted (chatting on cell phones) and impatient (road rage) on our nation’s highways, this silent motion can speak volumes.
You may have been on either side of the scenario—either you have given the wave, or you have received it. But what you may not know is there are two varieties of the courtesy wave—the magnanimous and the apologetic.
The magnanimous courtesy wave should be executed with a sweeping, forward motion of one hand (keep the other hand on the wheel, please). This wave typically occurs when another driver permits you to merge into a line of traffic or proceed through a two- or four-way stop. The magnanimous wave says, “Thank you,” offering a silent and gracious acknowledgment of an act of kindness. The exchange is completed when the wave is met by a smile, nod or a reciprocal “you’re welcome” wave from the receiving driver.
The apologetic courtesy wave can be found in various “oops” situations, such as cutting off another driver, or mistakenly heading down a one-way street—the wrong way. When giving this wave, you should display a sheepish nod of the head, a contrite hand-waggle and an emphasized shrug of the shoulders. The apologetic wave says, “I’m sorry,” serving to pacify the situation and create a clear conscience. To reciprocate, the receiving driver should offer a quick wave (three times or fewer), accompanied by a nod of the head, indicating that the apology has been accepted.
Of course, neglecting this tool of courtesy can have an adverse effect. Whether the scenario warrants a magnanimous or an apologetic wave, the absence of either can offend, or worse, enrage, others on the roadway. In fact, this exhibition of good manners has the potential to prevent unnecessary anxiety and hostility—and it can even slow your own temper.
In addition to common courtesy, there is an underlying purpose to this method of nonverbal communication. For those of us who live life in the fast lane, it is possible to overlook civility, chivalry and consideration for others—qualities that are intrinsically appealing to each of us. A simple wave from the driver’s seat is not only polite, but it also can connect us with others by acknowledging the random acts of kindness that inspire us to “pay it forward.”
So, the next time you start your engine, drive carefully and courteously—it is likely that others will follow your lead.