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Smoke Got in Her Eyes

May 30, 2013
Charles Laquidara - Contributing Writer ( , Maui Weekly

A friend of mine on Facebook just sent me the following private message. The names have been changed to protect the innocent, but this is something that I knew would eventually come to pass as each generation comes of age:

"Hi Charles, well 'Edward' chose the blue can and cigs over a healthy relationship with me, so I'm out and living elsewhere. Very, very sad. :(

'Mary Lynne'"

The comments that people responded with were fairly predictable, depending on whether the responder was a smoker or a nonsmoker, and/or whether they were of a certain age group.

Younger people mostly agreed with the writer's decision. But a majority of older people immediately assumed that there had been no previous dialogue between the couple. They felt the woman should "stand by her smoker" for better or for worse, and said she did not "give the guy a chance." (Again, all these assumptions were based only on the content of the above message.)

In my humble opinion, we don't have enough information to judge whether either person was fair or not--or whether they made the correct decision. I only know that whatever decision they came to, it was their right to make that decision. (Especially since I later found out that the "blue can" she was talking about was actually Bud Lite and the dude was drinking 200 cans a week--and he doesn't even recycle!)

But even without the alcohol factored in, I think we can all agree that people have a right to make their own decision to stay in or to get out of a relationship, especially when the health and welfare of both parties is involved.

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