Here's a tip to remember if you're new to the island: When the post office workers in Boston, Cleveland or Florida promise you that the package being sent to you here on Maui is going to arrive in two days if you "express it," do not believe them.
You see, they are correct when they tell you that the parcel will be in Hawai'i in two days, but what they don't tell you (because most times they just don't know) is that it takes a day or two to get from the Honolulu receiving area to us here on the Emerald Isle.
So, here's the rule: Don't ever have your friends or family on the Mainland pay the extra money it costs to send boxes or big envelopes to you by "next day" or "express mail," because it won't do them any good.
and Another Thing…
Packages from the Mainland sent next-day and express (and priority) always go to Honolulu first, so you have to add another day or so to receive it here at your home or place of business.
Unless you know someone who is taking it on the next plane and bringing it to your doorstep the next day, there is no such thing as "express mail" or "overnight" for packages sent to Maui from the Mainland.
You are paying double and getting the same delivery window as you would with priority mail, which means your parcel goes to Honolulu in the two days as promised, but then it takes another day or so before it gets here to Maui.
Remember to tell your friends and family (and the postal clerks) on the Mainland that this is the way it is.
Priority mail and express mail take the same--at least three days--to arrive here on Maui once they are shipped from the Mainland.
So, tell that lobster guy to put extra dry ice in the box--no matter what the postal clerk at the counter in Bangor, Maine, promised him. You won't be eating da kine for at least three days.
This opinion column is written by Charles Laquidara, who has lived on Maui for over 11 years. He worked at WBCN radio in Boston for 30 years as the morning-drive host of a show called "The Big Mattress" and is occasionally heard on Mana'o Radio here on-island. Email firstname.lastname@example.org